I’m So Fat and Ugly | How to Stop the Negative Self Talk.

YOU ARE SO FAT. That’s nasty right? So why would we ever (EVER) say such a thing to ourselves? 

Have you looked in the mirror and said it to yourself? “I’m so fat…” or “I’m so ugly…” or how about “My thighs are huge” or “I hate my stomach, I HATE what I look like, I need to lose weight now”. 

We’re thinking you maybe (or definitely) have said one of these things to yourself at some stage in your life. We know we both have and definitely not just once. At one stage it would’ve been at least once a day (yikes!).  All we can say is thank bloody hell, thank god, thank the universe, thank ourselves and whoever else, that we don’t think like this anymore. Pretty sure if we did: we’d be miserable, depressed and not really living at all.

You see, it was discovering the paleo lifestyle that contributed to the stop of this negative self talk. Since our early teens we seemed to be quietly obsessed with looking a certain way. Like the women in the magazines and on TV… an Australian size 8 (probably more like a size 4-6!), good hip to waist ratio, the full C cup breasts, the perfect small cute nose… you get the picture right?! We were also in the whirlwind of being super ‘healthy’ through the week, exercising heaps and then completely binging over the weekends (yes, we’re talking lollies, chocolate, pizza and way too much alcohol).

By Monday, we’d be looking in the mirror, focusing all our energy on guilty feelings and saying nasty things like “I’m so fat, I need to lose weight, why did I eat all that?”. 

It makes us sad to think we lived like this for so long. It makes us even more sad that others are going through similar situations right this second. That’s why we’re sharing our experience – in hope we inspire them to make a change.

It was paleo that led to our new positive relationship with the food we eat. Long gone were food binges, the guilty feelings afterwards and the horrible negative self talk! Paleo aka just eating REAL FOOD was not only a huge detox for the body… it was a complete mind, body, spirit detox. We’re not saying it was just our change in diet that stopped the negative talk but it definitely was the catalyst. It led us to start The Merrymaker Sisters, led us to the Institute of Integrated Nutrition and led us to find ourselves and create meaningful lives. 

“I’m so fat” days have almost disappeared from our lives and when they do make an appearance, wowee are we prepared! These are our happiness hacks to stop the negative self talk. 

  • Treat yourself like you’d treat your best friend or a daughter. With love and compliments. Write these down, keep them and refer back to them as often as you need.
  • Say this out loud now… comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, you’re unique, own it, be proud of it, share it.
  • Find or create a positive mantra for every time you look in the mirror. It doesn’t have to be airy fairy. Your mantra could be as simple as, I am beautiful just as I am. Even if you don’t believe it yet just keep saying it! Write it down, stick it on the mirror. 
  • When you look in the mirror, look at your whole self. Don’t focus on the parts you don’t necessarily love just yet. Look right into your eyes, then look at your whole body. 
  • Meditate. Meditation has 100% helped us say farewell to negative self talk! Just this morning we meditated for 10 minutes. We focused on each and every body part and thanked it and sent love to it. We know that 2 years ago we would’ve thought this was bloody crazy hippie stuff. Nope, it just makes you feel amazing!
  • Talk about your ‘fat days’. We’re not saying to emotionally dump on your family and friends. Talk about it to get it off your chest and ask for a little guidance or even just a hug! Hugging is the best!
  • Think about all the amazing things you’re missing out on whilst talking negative to yourself… like that sunset, talking to your partner, singing in the rain etc.
  • Eat a beautiful, healthy, nourishing meal. Pack it with fresh vegetables, they have a way of making you feel great!
  • Do some exercise. Doesn’t have to be hardcore! Go for a walk or do some relaxing yoga, these are great forms of meditation too! 
  • Put your favourite song on and dance like a crazy person in your lounge room.  Get the whole household to join in. This is one of our personal favourites. 
  • Sit in nature. In your garden, at the beach, in the park… just get outside and focus on the pretty world! It’s the perfect way to change your mindset with very limited effort… pretty flowers, crashing waves, trees in the wind are perfect distractions and great things to notice.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic or what you do to stop the negative self talk. Join the merrymaker convo and leave a comment! 

Always merrymaking,

Emma + Carla 



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