The Best Advice I Ever Got… Look Sideways.

I’m writing this while I eat a dessert spoon full of peanut butter… and it’s not my first one of the night either. I had 2 before this one. Far out, peanut butter is the goods. I’d say it’s my favourite butter of all the butters… but most butters are pretty good. 

You get the same holey moley yum-ness with any spoon of any butter. 

They’re equal. 

I wasn’t intending for my current peanut butter love affair to be an analogy in this post but turns out that it fits pretty darn perfectly. Thank you peanut butter! Also… I was doing the whole just write like vomit and don’t edit thing… like Emma did last week, and whadoyaknow?! Peanut butter!

In 2014, when we went to New York for the first time ever we had this magical night. The founder of the Nutrition School we studied at (Joshua Rosenthal) took us out for this fancy as dinner in Chelsea.

We were running across streets, going up to the roof tops of hotels, looking at all the lights and in fact, that was the first time we’d ever been in an uber! Joshua ordered it from his phone and it arrived within minutes and I was like “woh, this guy is epic… he has his own driver!” And now, well, we all do… and that’s pretty freaking rad. I <3 uber.

new york

While at dinner I spoke about our vision for Merrymakers and how inspired I was by other amazing people doing epic stuff. In particular, I wowed over Sarah Wilson and Pete Evans and just how big of a dent they were making to this planet.

And just as I was about to say something like “oh yes… I can’t WAIT until that’s me up there doing all that crazy amazing stuff!”… Joshua cut me off…

“Girls…” Because Emma was sitting there next to me nodding along… 

“Look sideways.”

So we did, at each other, and at the exact same time had the biggest joint AHA! Moment of our lives… since being born. 

Look sideways?

Holey shit! LOOK SIDEWAYS!

look sideways

Joshua went on to explain that I am you, and you are me and we are one and that’s a whole lotta woo woo (and I love it) but it really is simple: look sideways.

None of us are above or below ANYONE. No one is above or below you or me. We’re all equal. We are all made of the same stuff (star dust to be exact… like we actually are), we all have something to learn from each other and something to share. 

I wish I could go back in time to when I was a little teenager and learn these 2 simple little words. Because far out, that would have changed a heck of a lot, especially dealing with those bullies. It would have helped me have more empathy for the bully, to better understand why they might be treating me the way they were. But that’s some serious deep sh1t for a little teenager and I guess it takes time to learn these lessons. 

There isn’t a week that goes by that I’m not saying this to myself or out loud to someone else.

I think it’s ok to be inspired by others and it’s ok to think wow, they did good! But I try pretty hard to always remember to look sideways.

Hal Elrod said that “anything another human being has achieved is just evidence of what you can achieve.” I like that.

And it’s true too. We all have the same hours in a day. 

Marie Forleo said “I’ll have what she’s having.” and I like that too. Heck YES they did good and heck yes I’m going to have a piece of that. 

A couple weekends ago we spoke in front of 900 people. Safe to say that’s the most amount of people we’ve ever spoken in front of in real life (IRL). It’s was freaking epic, scary, amazing, exhilarating… so many words.

After we spoke we hung out in the foyer where a bunch of people lined up to get selfies with us, to talk to us, ask us questions. This is always super fun (probably the best part of any speaking opportunity!) and I always offer to take the selfie because I’m like ridiculously pro at it. If there was a trophy for the world’s best selfie taker, I might, probably win it. 

But really, the best part is that you get to speak to people IRL and really understand what they need and how they feel. 

In a few conversations, we had so many compliments “you guys are SO amazing!” “I loved this!” and “that gratitude practice is gonna be game changer.” And as much as I accepted these compliments with a thank you very much (because far out, compliments are awesome), I also mentioned the look sideways mantra to these epic people and I could see the ripple AHA! pass straight on through to my conversation-nee (that’s not a word). 

Too often we look up and too often we look down. I think looking down might even be worse but really, I shouldn’t judge, should I? 

This whole life living thing is confusing and gets more and more confusing as we learn more and more. It’s like, we think we have it figured out and then BOOM, we learn something new that changes everything.

sideways

I had a moment like that during a recent podcast interview with Mark Manson, when he said “wanting more positive experience is itself a negative experience, embracing negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

That seriously effed with my brain a little bit and then it sunk in like a big thud. What had I been doing for the past 3 years? Chasing more positive? Not feeling? Labelling good vs. bad vs. good?

My brain was like… Carla… it’s ok to feel. In fact, you feel to heal. Oh yeah. Feeling is good.

If there’s one thing that I wish everyone to learn right this second, it is to look sideways. To really, truly believe that we are all the same.

What You Can Do Today…

So keep this one in your pocket for everyday use. Start bringing awareness to when you might judge others, whether you perceive them higher or lower than you. Take notice of when others start talking to you about others. And start using the 2 words that have changed my life and the way I live it forever. 

2 words that have helped take my life from Mediocre to Magical.

Look sideways.

Yeah!

Always merrymaking,

Carla 

Feature image from Rialba Photography, others from unsplash