We are so pumped to share this epic article with you! Two things we know about any kind of relationship, whether it is boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife… is that 1. they have the potential to make life epically amazing and magical and 2. man oh man they can be tricky.
We love reading books about relationships, hearing people talk about them and learning from other people’s experiences. Relationships directly impact our health and happiness, so a great relationship = better health and more happiness (not compared to being single, compared to a not-so-good relationship).
We’re so excited to share these 3 tips to a great relationship by our good friend Marcus Pearce. He is a speaker, mentor and all round good bloke (also freaking hilarious and lovely).
We’re even more excited that he is just one of our 15 epic experts during the Get Merry Challenge.
It’s going to be 21 days of delicious food, amazing support and the most inspirational health and happiness experts.
The #GetMerry Challenge is the perfect way to kick off 2017. It’s about creating healthier habits that last. We vote 2017 is going to be your best year yet! Find out more here!
Over to Marcus.
3 essential tips to a great relationship with Marcus Pearce
Opposites attract – don’t try and change that!
I remember in the winter of 2004 completing a Tony Robbins exercise on describing your ideal soulmate. I remember writing down that this woman “loved sport and understood the role the media played in the world, had a high value on great communication, language skills, and so on.”
In short, I wrote down the exact copy of me, just the female version. This is the greatest recipe for disaster in a relationship.
For the record, I ended up marrying a chiropractor who doesn’t lose any sleep at all over a football team!
Most of us want our partner to be just like us. We expect them to live up to our values, our views of the world and our standards. It frustrates us when they don’t do the dishes BEFORE the meal or that they don’t “eat it whilst it’s hot”, instead, waiting for everyone to be seated before taking the first mouthful.
To paraphrase the late great Dr Wayne Dyer – show me a fresh loved-up couple of two similar people and I’ll give them 3 weeks before they get sick of each other and split up!
You would be wise to constantly keep at the forefront of your mind that your ideal partner is different to you – whether you are heterosexual or GLBT – and that for you to enjoy a world-class relationship, you are best to avoid ever changing that.
This list outlines the very stark differences between my wife Sarah and I. As you’ll see, we are different in so many ways.
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early to bed
quiet and loves silence
late to bed
loud and loves noise
And this list is short!
Here’s a video I also love to play for people to recognise (with humour) the difference between masculine and feminine energy.
In a world of hacks and shortcuts, it’s easy to think we can ‘hack’ our way to a great relationship with gifts and romantic messages. They are both great and add some jazz to a relationship.
Though, if you are looking for a relationship to last a lifetime, nothing will do more for your relationship than concentrated quality time.
Rather than give you examples of quality time, the only rule is that it feels special to BOTH of you.
Do you spend 30 minutes of quality time with your soulmate each day? If not, start there.
No fine print on the contract of love!
This is possibly the corniest line I have in my vocabulary, and I use it all the time with Sarah!
So many relationships are built on “if you get two days away with the girls then I get two days away with the guys”. There’s a constant trade of time, energy, money, sex, and so on. This is NOT the way of the exceptional relationship!
Great friendships, intimate and family relationships are built on unconditional love (as opposed to conditional love).
Think about that – ‘un’ meaning ‘none’ or ‘without’.
A love without conditions, where you are happy within yourself and you truly love your partner for who they are and not what they do, is a love that lasts because you aren’t constantly feeling good or bad based on what someone else does.
To finish I’ll leave you with the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin –
“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”
We’re super grateful for Marcus and can not wait to share more of his epicness with you during the Get Merry Challenge! It’s gonna be a whole lotta fun! Don’t miss out on the early bird rate!
Emma + Carla
Feature image via Unsplash. Wedding photo via Marcus and Sarah.