We had a sudden urge to add to the negativity that surrounds paleo in the media.
[Tweet “5 reasons why eating paleo SUCKS!”]
1: You will gain too much energy
You’re going to have a lot more energy. These new energy levels will mean people will think you’re on drugs, so your boss might fire you. These energy levels are especially bad after too much Good Fat Cake or kombucha. Warning: other people (meaning non-paleo people) may find you highly annoying.
2: All paleo recipes are too hard
All the healthy, paleo recipes have 100 ingredients you’ve never heard of and 20 million steps (not mentioning anyone specific here!). Hello too hard basket! Lots of cook books will become coffee table decorations.
3: Your plate will be full of vegetables
You’ll be eating more vegetables than a vegetarian. You’ll be forever explaining to people who think paleo is a meat eaters diet that you actually eat more vegetables than ever and the same amount of meat that you used to… but better quality. This will waste a lot of your time.
4: Terrible symptoms
You’ll probably receive 1 or more of the following symptoms: clear skin, balanced hormones and moods, weight loss, clear mind.
5: You will annoy many people
You’ll feel really good. This means you’ll be telling everyone (and anyone) about your paleo lifestyle so you’re going to annoy the bejesus out of all your friends, family and anyone you chat to for longer than 2 minutes. They’ll probably tell you to shut up often.
Ok. Ok. Ok. We’re obviously totally playing silly buggers. But it was fun… maybe? Yes! We think so!
We just want to point out that reason number 1 why eating paleo sucks is 100% based on a true story… we once brought Mojo kombucha to our old work and our General Manger was not too happy to see us in hysterics while drinking ‘vodka cruisers’.
Also number 2 why eating paleo sucks… don’t worry this used to be us ALL. THE. TIME! And we know some people love a challenge when it comes to recipes. This is definitely not us.
That’s why we started making our own recipes! OUR recipes are as easy as paleo pie!
In fact over 70 of these easy recipes are featured in our NEW hardcopy (and eBook) healthy cookbook! Easy recipes at your fingertips and pretty pages to flick through! It will not only be a great coffee table decoration, you will ACTUALLY be able to cook the recipes. PROMISE!
Number 3… eating more veggies is a good thing and you’ll eventually get bored of explaining to others the truth about the meat eating thing. First they ask WHY, then they ask HOW. Make our green brekky bowl for ALL. THE. GREENS!
You’ll definitely get some of those amazing symptoms as mentioned in reason number 4 after going paleo. This obviously does not suck at all and definitely adds to reason number 5 because once your acne disappears, or you lose weight, or you balance those hormones, you’ll want to tell the world and a lot of people won’t like this… well, until you secretly turn them Paleo… mwahahaha.
Eating paleo really sucks. Fact.
Emma + Carla
Ps. remember how we mention the whole energy gains… checkout this video!